Ephesians 5 says that we as husbands need to “love our wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”.
What is that instructing us to do? Like Jesus, we are called to be willing to sacrifice – giving your wife not only all that you have, but all that you are.
When I first got married, I did not do that well (and I’m still far from batting a thousand here). I was very selfish and looked at marriage only as what I can get, not what I should give.
I had a set of expectations (which were wrong) of what a wife should be and what marriage was. If I was unhappy (or didn’t feel my wife was living up to my man made expectations) I would get upset and blame the institution of marriage for why I was unhappy.
Marriage is not what you can get, it’s about what you can give. If we are to love our wives like Christ loved the church, then marriage is a call to die to self and to give everything you got for your wife.
I love the way God works. On paper, you look at sacrifice, give everything, be willing to die as something that will make you miserable and that you are on the unfair side of the equation. But, what I quickly found out, as soon as I started doing things God’s way, joy entered our marriage in a more intentional way. So did love, sacrifice for each other, genuine fulfillment.
Here is another thing I learned, once I started to be more intentional in being a husband the way God designed, it made it easier for my wife to be more intentional in being a wife the way God designed.
Our home became a place of honor, joy, sacrifice and laughter. My wife is truly my favorite person, and when you have a favorite person in your life, you are willing to give yourself up for her as Christ did for the church.
So my challenge to you men are these…
1. Can you stop looking at what you are not getting from your wife (the expectations you have set) and start following the expectations that God has on you as a husband?
2. Will you commit to pray for your wife daily? To know her needs, her struggles, her desires, her
fears- and to lift those up to God as you stand in the gap for your wife.
3. Will you make it your mission as a husband that your wife will become more like Christ because she is married to you and you are leading her and your family well?
4. Will you commit to be faithful to your wife? I’m not simply talking physical, though that is
important. I’m talking everything about you –your eyes, language, schedules, passions all say
the same thing…”I am and always will be faithful to you!”
The only people that has said marriage is easy are engaged people. It’s work, its sacrifice, it takes patience and understanding. But, when done God’s way (and men, you need to lead in this), it can be the biggest blessing God has ever given you beyond salvation.
Comments