Seems like a interesting combination to say “discipline” and “friendship” together. To me discipline means something you work at. So working at friendship? Hmm? I thought friend ship just kind of happened.
Leading studies before social media have shown that only 10 percent of men have any real friends. However recent studies now show that 85% of men have a best friend. Hooray for social media right?
Defining “real” friends might be the key as recent studies have avoided trying to describe quality of friend. But what is a “real” friend , should we work at friendship and do we really value friendship. My dad used to tell me that you can count your real friends on 1 hand, maybe on 1 finger.
Growing up in the backwoods of Oregon in a logging family, my 2 brothers were around 12 years older than i – so basically I grew up with out much sibling interaction. But I had 3 cousins my own age and when they would come over we would always seem to get into trouble. Whether it would be capsizing a drift boat at night in the river in our dress clothes or shooting at each other with bb guns, or getting into dads dynamite and going fishing- we were always stirring up stuff.
As teenagers our discussions revolved around cars and girlfriends oh and some drinking might have went on as well. Dad made wine , beer and champagne and we felt we needed to sample it quite often down in the basement. God certainly had his hand on us because we lived thru our teenage years.
But we all knew we could depend on each other at any time if need be. And even though are
discussions only went as deep as cars and girlfriends – that was probably as deep as we were anyway.
At’s it core friendships are a relationship, just like Jesus has with us. So if we look to Jesus as the model what do we find?
Jesus says in John 15 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
I notice a few things here in this passage about being a real friend
Love is at the core of the friend relationship Sharing of your ”business”
o Your friend (s) know what’s going on in your life at a deep level
Complete dedication for the well being of the other person – even laying down your life for
them. wow that’s amazing friendship.
Do we value friendship? Well I think we do if we work at it as a discipline
Its like anything else – if we think its worthwhile we will work at it
In 2 Peter Ch1 v 5 Peter encourages us to make every effort to add to our Faith – Character traits that will keep us from being ineffective and unproductive
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness,
knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to
perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Same with friendship we need to tend to it like a garden and make every effort to add to our
friendship.
Pastor Ty gave a example that stuck with me a few years back
o The Life cycle of friendship kind of goes
we make friends in school
Then we marry and have family and our energy shifts to our family and
work
Then the family grows up and we haven’t kept up with our friends and
kids are out of the house and we have to start over if we haven’t
maintained those friend relationships.
I will leave you with this- what friend could you call tonight and check in and see how they
are doing? Its worth the effort!!
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