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Mark Stouder

Integrity: How to be Successful in Everything You Do

Updated: Mar 24, 2023

How to be successful in everything you do- does it have to do with Integrity?


Everyone wants to be successful in life but few think about what that means. Whatever we think it looks like we may need to throw that vision out because it will have ourselves at the center.

Looking at success from God's vision will be different that our own because we are corrupted by self-centered ness and God is not.


God has many characteristics but the framework it hangs on is Integrity. God does not care about himself only but he also models how to care for others and this ultimately defines success for us. He always shows up for us.


I would like to introduce a definition of integrity that might be a little different. We may think of integrity as a morality issue, doing the right thing such as being honest or doing what you say you are going to do. And you would be right. But I think we can go deeper than this. I think that could be a good start – but if we tie integrity to success I think we need to go deeper.


What if we defined integrity on a broader scale as the ability to meet realities' demands?

It is my strong belief that you cannot do this on your own without Christ and his Holy Spirit. God has said without Him we are poor, pitiful, naked, and blind. And we have two enemies that want to keep us there Satan and our flesh.


Jesus met every demand placed on him because he had a strong connection to the Father and God's Spirit. He experienced all things just like we do so he understands the trials.

When we look at people we find that in spite of their defined success in life they struggle in their relationships. If I were to break life down between tasks and relationships – in our current isolationistic culture many people focus on tasks but few on relationships. And very few with the mindset of what can I bring to the relationship to make it flourish


Again in our self-centered mindset, relationships are all about us. We say my wife isn’t meeting my needs, my kids aren’t doing what I want, or my friends aren’t serving me as I would like.

The reason we struggle so much in our relationships is that that is where we are broken by sin. It’s not so much we are broken for tasks (although we are ) but we are truly broken for relationships.


In order to have great relationships we must have the Holy Spirit so that we think like God and have “the mind of Christ” 1 cor 2:16

Having the mind of Christ we then think differently. We think out of the mindset of others-centered not self-centered. We operate out of a mindset of generosity, not scarcity. We also are “new creations” with our hearts being able to truly love others

The morality part of integrity is vital for the relationship piece called trust. Without trust- there is no relationship


People can trust you when you...

· Lead by doing, taking on commitments, and then always completing them. Don’t be passive and avoid commitments.

  • Understanding your priorities will keep you from overcommitting. God and Family are your main priorities. Remember God has no needs, but your family does.

  • We may spend a lot of time doing things that provide no help in developing us into Godly men of integrity. Screens anyone – phone, TV, or computer?

    • · When you show up even when you don’t feel like it.

    • · When you’re honest even if that doesn’t benefit you.

    • · When you’re on time

    • · When you are a contributor to the relationship, not just a taker


Also, Love has to be the motivator of integrity – it’s the fire that starts the engine of integrity. Without it the relationship will not last, it will implode.


To meet realities demands as an Upward Man we have to recognize our assigned responsibilities that God has entrusted to us. We recognize that without our trust/faith in Jesus and power from walking with God's Spirit. – We won’t succeed in this.


As an Upward Man called by God how can we be men of integrity? Discipleship.

  • Show up to God's word every day-especially when you don’t feel like it- let his words of wisdom soak into your personhood- to change you to be more like Christ.

  • Pray without ceasing- Not only time set aside for prayer but talk to God all day long- just talk to him like anyone else- ask him for what you need – you need wisdom, ask him- you struggling with things, tell him in an audible voice- having a blessed day, rejoice with him thru out the day – God desires and loves to be part of your conversation.

  • Teach and help others- nothing makes for a great disciple than share what he is learning and be a support for others and they support you

Husband

  • Provide a climate of growth for your wife of nurturing love

  • Be a safe haven – not condemning or judgmental

  • Provide servant leadership – be helpful, kind, considerate, not easily angered, and wanting her best.

  • Love her like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Be Christ to her. What wife wouldn’t love to have Christ for a husband. “for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest.”- do you provide rest for your wife?

  • Be vulnerable- your wife longs to know the real you what you feeling, your struggles and victories.

  • Provide for your family emotionally and show up have emotional integrity- be present- be active, not passive- become a student of your own emotional status. Men are not normally wired this way so ask God to help you be aware of your emotions and become wise in this.

  • Over 90% of men have an anger problem either internally passive or externally aggressive. God wants to heal this but you must step out of denial.


Father

  • Show up for your kids and be there. Again be active, not passive

  • Realize you are already a hero at home – act like it- there at home is where your treasure is- not other places. Not work, hanging with buddies your family of origin, or hobbies with others. Do things together that build up, it may be something you don’t like but they do.

  • You are their only father- there are no others here on earth that will be their father- you have the biggest influence on their life, whether they realize it or not.

Work

  • Provide for your family 1 Tim 5:8

  • Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

  • Work hard as unto the Lord- not only when the boss sees you but also when he doesn’t

  • Treat all people with respect and kindness and love them


You will be successful in meeting realities' demands if you focus on these responsibilities. Acknowledge God as your source of Love, wisdom, and strength to do these assignments.

In life we fall down a lot, success for me is always getting back up and showing up, not necessarily the outcome of circumstances. If I stay connected to Jesus as a branch to a vine I will always show up with integrity and I will be successful in all I do, - AMEN


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