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Mark Stouder

Influence Your Family

Updated: Mar 24, 2023

Influence is defined by webster as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something. That effect can be positive direction or a negative direction.


Most all of us have family of one kind or another – family of origin, maybe a new family of marriage with or without children. I will focus on a man who is married or who will be married and will have children.


When I was newly married , I really didn’t see life much different than when I was single and I still did the things I had always done , living in Alaska , which was fishing and hunting a lot. My wife didn’t really enjoy these activities so she stayed home while most weekends I was off doing my thing. About 6 months after our 1st child was born my wife said “ you know you have responsibilities now that are different than the way it used to be. You have a son and he needs you to be involved in his life as do I.”


I was totally convicted and so started the journey of my influence on my family. Steve Mason used to say “ you can’t give what you don’t have.” I prayed hard in those days that God would give me wisdom to raise a Godly family and the ability to pass that on. I taught Bible Study which kept me in Gods Word ( I am basically lazy so that accountability of preparing for bible study kept me in Gods Word). We had a young adults group made up of families with young kids and shared fellowship in this way.


As men, God has given us the “head of household” responsibility to be Jesus to our family. You can have no public success in Christ until you have private success. You must be pursuing Christ in your life personally (private) before you can lead/influence in a positive way ( be Jesus ) to others (public).


There is a country song I like by Dean Brody that talks about delayed engagement of our Family

influence and how time is short


The trouble is

You think you have time

You think tomorrows always coming down the line

And then one day

You wake up and you find

The trouble is you thought you had time


“You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away” (James 4:14)


“today is the day “ (2 Corinthians 6:2)


We can’t wait if we are to be influencing our family for Christ. We must start our personal victorious life today!!


To be an "Upward Man"; means living intentionally, always improving, and being a man of influence.  We are always going "Upward" and refuse to stay idle or go backward.  We understand that the way we live today will impact the inheritance (the legacy) we are going to leave behind.  We have decided to leave a legacy worthy of passing on.



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