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Mark Moeller

Discipline of Marriage

Updated: Mar 24, 2023

As we read the Bible account of creation in Genesis, we see in Chapters 1 and 2 that one of the first things God did was to make a man and a woman and marry them (2:22). Of all the things God called “good” or “very good” in creation God said “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (2:18). Marriage was foundational to complete creation. It established a basic building block of human existence. With it came all the wonder, fulfillment, and oneness that a man and woman can experience together. These are all good things that God designed for a purpose. However, like any good mystery, there was a deeper purpose that God would not reveal for thousands of years, a purpose he would reveal through Jesus. A purpose that would speak profoundly to God’s relationship with people who would seek him.


In Ephesians 5:22-32, the Apostle Paul more fully reveals God’s plan for marriage. The last verse frames our entire reading of the passage:


5:32   This mystery is great—but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

(Emphasis mine)


Simply put, a major reason God created marriage was so that we could have an experiential, visceral example of the relationship Jesus would have with the Church. This relationship features two different entities, similar but with fundamental differences, with two different roles, unified for a single purpose, with mutual sacrificial love and respect.


Paul writes:

5:22  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 5:23  because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church—he himself being the savior of the body. 5:24  But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

5:25  Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 5:26  to

sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, 5:27  so that he may

present the church to himself as glorious—not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish,

but holy and blameless. 5:28  In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own

bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 5:29  For no one has ever hated his own body but he

feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, 5:30  for we are members of his

body. 5:31  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife,

and the two will become one flesh. 5:32  This mystery is great—but I am actually speaking with

reference to Christ and the church.


If you understand that the ultimate goal of marriage is to teach us about the unity of Jesus with the Church, you can see with absolute clarity why God hates divorce, sexual immorality of all kinds, adultery, and other perversions. All of these distort the reality of Jesus’ love for the Church. Jesus will never divorce the Church, he will never have a “church on the side”, there won’t be a Jesus without the Church. You won’t find Jesus surfing the Internet to watch people worship other gods. He will always love the Church and has already laid his life down for the Church. He will be flawlessly patient with the Church and do all he can to make the Church her very best. He will always remain faithful to the Church, even when the Church sins against him. Further, he is coming again, leaving the Father and being united as one with his bride (Revelation 19:6-10).


Jesus wants us to have a glimpse of what blissful unity will be like. Yes, he could have used words to try to describe it somehow but that would be like trying to describe sexual ecstasy to someone. It is a transcendent experience by design because it gives us a way to experience something that will be all consuming and outside of just these physical bodies. As Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see through a glass darkly, but then we will see face to face”. Every form of oneness in marriage is only a dim reflection of what the church will experience with Jesus one day in our spirits.


Our marriage is designed to be a living witness to the world around us reflecting the love Jesus has for his church. This is why practicing the discipline of a Godly marriage is so important. It will also give you a more fulfilling life of sacrifice and serving. It will make you and your spouse a living Bible for the world to read. It will make you more like Jesus.




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